Thursday, May 19, 2016

One year

My sweet baby will be one year old on Saturday.  It's so strange for me to feel the same weather, smell the same flowers, and even wear some of the same clothes I wore a year ago.  It remind me of a time when Liza wasn't quite here yet, and for some reason that plays tricks on my mind, like it didn't really happen.

I remember getting home from work and making spring rolls to eat on the porch while I did my charting.  I remember all my patients asking about my due date.  I remember that rolling over in bed required a warm-up and a cool-down.

Sometimes I look back at labor and the birth and think if I had to do it over I would change a few things.  It's easy to say "oh I would have gotten in the birthing tub, I would have walked the halls, I would have done even more skin-to-skin.  I wouldn't have gone into the hospital for another couple hours."  But truthfully, everyone does the best they can and thats all you get.  I was blessed with a health baby at the end of it all.  I was one of the lucky ones who had a supportive mother of her own to come and stay and help when I was more than clueless.

The first few weeks were so hard for Ryan and I.  But after the first month things got better and better.  Liza's personality came out when we was about 5 weeks old.  She was smiling and kicking her legs like crazy in Ocean City, her first little trip.

Fast forward to today.  Liza is sleeping still (yay!) after getting up once last night, fighting sleep again on being put back down.  We have music class at 9:30 where she will crawl all around the room and shake her little instruments.  We might walk on City Island later with a group called Hike It Baby. We have mom groups and play dates, library story time, swim lessons.  All sorts of activities with a new group of great friends.  Its been a transformational year and I am so happy I'm fortunate enough to stay home and be with Liza as she grows and learns.

Our family is a family now.  We became a family of 3, and for lack of a better word, its perfect.


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